How Condoms Landed Me a Job

I stopped updating because I got a job a little while back. As I’ve mentioned before, my arms are frequently upset with me, and that makes updating a blog hard since I’m a full-time writer. I'll do a bit here and there, but right now a post will come whenever I don't feel like my elbow will retaliate.

But you clicked over because I said that condoms got me a job. No, it wasn't sketchy. Yes, it was a little unplanned. And the condoms were probably only half of the decision.

Shortly after I started this blog I got a LinkedIn account. I thought I didn't need one but it turned out that I did, because that was where I found (and applied) for the job that I currently have.

But Erika, you say, get to the condoms.

Alright, alright. So I was frustrated at the lack of responses from the twenty something resumes that I had sent out, so I was thinking of ways to improve myself. I started brushing up on my German. I started learning code at Code Academy (still am, although less frequently). I got back to the webcomic. And I started learning about copywriting, because I figured, marketing might be the way to go.

Sometimes things just happen. So I started to work on a copywriting portfolio, which was actually just me thinking about working on the portfolio. Until one day I suddenly thought: condoms are not only safer, they're cheaper. So I went to Publix, bought a box, went home, and calculated how many condoms you could buy with the cost of a lifetime treatment for HIV/AIDS. (For the record, it's one condom a day for the next 1,982 years.)

I did a (poor) design and posted it to deviantart. Nothing else happened. I know now that I am not a designer.

So how did this get me a job? Well, I applied to the position via LinkedIn, which, might I add, I wasn't exactly qualified for. They responded with a writing test. I completed it and sent it back.

They sent me another test. I procrastinated a little, but I finished it within a week and sent it out. In this test, they asked me about how I search for information  and, on a whim, I included something about how the information isn't as important as the way you present it.

They called me the next day to set up an interview. It was very exciting and the girl who called was hyped up on caffeine  so I had a good feeling about this one. I had realized the morning of the interview that I had sent in a horribly edited test and was waiting for them to tear me apart over it, so I had brought two (fixed) copies of the test.  I went in Wednesday afternoon and met with two people who I would never see again in my life.

Not that it mattered, the guys had never seen my tests, they just interviewed me. As we talked, they were skimming over my answers. One of them said, "Man, I should have read this." But a few seconds later, they said, "Hey. This thing you wrote on condoms. This is exactly what we do here." The interview came to an end and they stepped outside to 'discuss' the next step.

And then they came back in, offered a contractual position for two weeks with the promise of a chance to become a full time employee at the end. "If we work, we'll sign you on," they said.

Of course, they both left the company the day I started working (which was the next day). So I was a contractor for three weeks. But it's okay, because I signed the papers and am now a full-time employee. Yay.

The things to take away from my experience are:

1. Apply, even if you're not fully qualified.
2. Even if you think you're overdue, don't give up. Submit it anyway.
3. Take things in stride.
4. Go above and beyond when they ask you questions. It may be the difference between you and the next candidate.